before i was a mother i didn’t realize how deeply life changing and challenging motherhood/parenthood is every single day of life. In all honesty, i was not prepared to become a MOTHER. in some ways i was, i had the stuff that maggie needed; but i had no clue how much shit (yes actual shit comes out when you birth, but im talking that personal deep routed shit) would come up for me during her birth, and after. I WASN'T prepared for the TRAUMA that would come from her birth, and the fears that come up after…. motherhood is the most challenging thing that has taken place in my life.

like woah!!

so for fun i have complied a list of my top 5 things motherhood has taught me… are you ready?

1. How we were raised as children completely and utterly effects how we parent, both good and bad. for example, (mom please don’t get upset) my mom YELLED, that IN FAcT just from how i was raised, i have to CONSCIOUSLY remind myself to either find love in the situation, or basically say “hey sierra, its not maggie’s fault you raise your voice, change it.. be kind!” - and why does this part have to be so hard. its frustrating that i UNCONSCIOUSLY just go straight to raising my voice (especially if i am tired, not feeling well, headache, etc) though those are just excuses.. its easier for me to jump right to yelling. its what i know. its harder to train my mind to come back and be kind.

2. the JUDGEMENT from others can literally go fuck itself. everyone judges everything (literally!). the best quote i have ever heard is by Roy T. Bennett which says “… Other people’s perception of you is a reflection of them..” |and i didn’t realize this is the ending i had only remembered that part.. are you ready (laughs from the universe are LITERALLY happening right now.. like whoa!)  “… your response to them is an awareness of you.” so for the above lesson i’ve learned here is another lesson.. if i truly want to change the way i react to maggie and her emotions. i need to realize that what she is perceiving from me is only putting her in my shoes as a mother, i am not benefiting her by yelling. the awareness from that will allow me to grow and to help her become an even better human being than i.| thus the whole JUDGeMENT from others can go fuck its self, because what they are perceiving of me is just a REFLECTION of them. they THEMSELVES have some shit to work THROUGH, before they start passing JUDGMENTS. we are all working through our own stuff that we have to work through, like me with my yelling, or even me with my relationship with myself, glenn, my kids, my family, friends, the list is endless (really!)… i try really hard to not pass judgement on others because THAT is not my job. i believe my basic human being job is to be kind and caring, showing love to all those that i come in contact with, having them leave my presence feeling better, and loved. that is my job, that is all of our jobs as human beings. i don’t know what you believe in, and we all have different BELIEFS, but i believe that the universe (goD) loves us all, and we enter into this lifetime with a destined path, we may VEER off course slightly, but the universe always brings us right to where we need to be.

3. this one is easy peasy, and short and sweet…. you ready? sleep over sex any day! i’m so sleep deprived that i just want to sleep, all the time, and maybe these days that’s related to my intake of sugar and CAFFEINE, instead of greens (lets not talk about that yet) but come 5pm i am just so ready for bed time.

4. self care is so important! self love is even more important. you grew CHILDREN, you nourished those children. so a little extra time in the bathroom after your shower or bath (which i totally PREFER but have a thing about small tubs and we have a small tub!) massaging your lotion gently into your skin, or take time brushing your hair. nourish your body. its also important to nourish your libido. when you want sex, or are feeling “froggy” as my dad would say.. go for it! feel your body, look at your pussy, honor her - you are her, and she is you!

5. mom guilt… will it ever go away?? because i’m 4 years in (i know in this life its not that far) but i seriously have mom guilt over everything. yes everythinG! i don’t think it does. i think we have mom guilt and complete and utter crazy worries about our children, some are more extreme than others (and if you feel these, please talk to someone, its important to you and your children for you to be mentally healthy mama! ❤) but we all have it.

we as mothers really truly go through all the same things, sometime a little different, shifted in some way, but at the root, the feelings we feel are all the same. so lets send a little more love out to the world today for each other, we are all struggling in our own way and we could use a little more love in the sister realm.

❤